It will soon be two decades since suddenly left us. He was only thirty-nine at the time, a Minister, as it had been for almost half a century. But to everyone, time had been trapped with him. When it did, Pope reluctantly withdrew the Pastorate. Made his home in retreat to Louisville, Kentucky and, while living in the city of the Church that I served rare time came out a week, but it would be in the Church on Sunday. One day, I was surprised and joined. Without a doubt, he was one of the happiest days of my life.
However, the joy and pride that I felt was short-lived. At dusk, Pope suffered a massive heart attack, lived for ten days and died. We carry out a memorial service for him in the Church where had been a member only a very few hours. Influence of Pope was deep, much more than we imagine. More than 1 thousand people were to pay their respects. Someone told me more afternoon was the funeral of the largest in the history of the Church. My brother gave praise, sang my younger brother, and preached the funeral Sermon.
Once heard Barack Obama say, "a son is trying to the expectations of his father or compensate for the mistakes of his father." For a long time after his death, I saw unexpected step a big cosmic mistake my father. I was confused and angry with him for leaving. My life began to unravel. As a result, he left the Ministry altogether, I changed careers and since my marriage had not been a priority in my life, when Pope died, did.
In addition, I wondered where was God in all this. In fact, over time, I grew up angry as hell with her. "Do you you take my father?" "What kind of God are, anyway?" He advised others to find their faith in times of crisis. In my own crisis, I found little help in my faith. Where a Minister turning when you have questions? Fears? Ira? Sadness? For many months after her death, was the proverbial basket - case. About two years to be exact; but, time heals and I finally did.
In recent days, I have been thinking much about Pope. Thus, in this father's day, I've found I expressing personal gratitude for the many valuable things I learned from my father.
From the beginning I knew that dad was not a perfect man. He made his share of mistakes. One of them was that he was so busy with the work of the Church that had little time for us. He would be sacrificing anything, even the time with his family, if I thought that it would enhance his image in front of others. What is interesting to me is that, while I grew up recognizing these flaws, and resentful you for them, once I became an adult, a Minister and a father I, repeated quite the same with my own family.
My dad used to say: "son, there's a lot about life, about yourself or about God that you will never understand." "Learn to live with ambiguity, be at peace and forgive yourself and others when they make mistakes and don't forget to forgive God, too". I have long forgiven him to exit, forgiven God to take it, and today I'm in peace. Still strange and does not take much that make me cry everytime I think of him. But I do not see his death as an error. I have learned so much dad, especially how forgiving. How could anything it be less grateful for this?
I learned to laugh in life, with each other and myself of Pope. It was a joke for every occasion. My siblings and I had heard them dozens of times. But he would say, "you ever tell you about the time..." and I would say, "Just a few thousand times." Then it would be as if we had never heard before. In the perforation line they laugh as if we never had. It is a funny thing, but today, give almost anything to hear you tell a story that I heard a thousand times before.
Dad taught me the value of hard work; the importance of charity, too. I got my first job at age 12, delivering to the Lexington Herald-Leader. At five o'clock every morning, my brother and I had doubled the newspapers, then they rode our bikes around the neighborhood delivering papers before summer. That first month, I think I did twenty bucks. How it was enjoying my financial gains and imagining all that I would like to buy, my Dad gave me an envelope of offer to the Church and said, "a tithe of twenty bucks is two dollars." Much, is part of God. "In this envelope and place it in the offering plate on Sunday".
The good book says, "God loves a cheerful giver". Well, maybe so, but my father didn't believe in that God was very particular about how he gave us. The fun part is this: that was more than forty years ago and today, everytime I receive a paycheck, the first check I write is checking of charity. And what's really funny is today I really enjoy writing it.
Pope was a devout man. And he wanted their children to grow up being devout, too. However, was wise enough to know what many religious parents do not. You can just don't tell a child what to believe and then I think that you have successfully transferred the faith from one generation to the next. Pope knew instinctively that beautifully expresses Deepak Chopra: "beliefs are a mere cover-up of insecurity." "Only you believe in things that you are not sure".
I knew that, until they have forged a faith in the crucible of his own experience, you can grow with a identity religious, but hardly will be a spiritual person. Dad modeled for us the spiritual values that were important to him. Rather than telling us what they should believe or how we should live, he left it to us and work together to God. As a result, a deeply devout person I am today because I choose to be, not because I've been cloned or coerced to be religious.
My dad had severe the teachings of Jesus. Instead of the classification or explain away the radical things Jesus said, such as "Love your enemies", dad put it into practice. Were he here today, he would be one of the few that really are embracing our Islamic brothers and sisters and calling for an end to all wars, the majority of which is religiously instigated anyway. It would be between seeking them equality and justice for all, if you're gay or hetero, Palestinian or Jew. I would remind people that true faith is to be fully human, and learning to live in the here and now and at peace with others; not escape from this world and live in some imaginary are placed in the future.
In an era of religious dogmatism and fundamentalism Irreflexive, Christianity, Islam or any other religion, that is my sincere desire that all children within the human family would have the opportunity of servants, as I have, by a parent, although it is not a perfect man, is worthy of being remembered and so honest in what we call father's day.
Regularly publish thoughts and stories like this on my blog (and I've written a book about the spiritual perceptions to which have benefited over the years). I would love to share some of the things that I've learned with you. Simply visit my website for more information and for the books that I've written. From there, you can visit my blog for more reading online. Go to: http://www.stevemcswain.com.