Mystical experience
"The mysteries of life be... lucid and often, nay, the solution is usually more or less unspeakable in words". -William James, "The varieties of religious experience"
I do not remember who came to the door of my house. I can't remember what he said. I remember that he was angry.
He had finished reading a book called "Summerhill" by a teacher of English, A.S. Neill. Its theme was "the freedom, not license". Each student in the school of Neill was free to do what he wanted as the conduct not hurting someone. The community which had created Neill was an interaction free, creative, loving, respectful, responsible of the unique human beings.
Recently, he had been involved in disciplinary battles with one of my preschool children. The battles resulted behaviour increasingly destructive and greater frustration in me. I decided to test methods of Neill, with my children and with other people in my life.
The man at the door was not hurting me. I decided to let him vent his anger. Not do so because it was something I should do. I did it because I decided to do so. I have experienced the acceptance of anger and desire to not retaliate. Anger suddenly stopped.
Nothing changed. My House, the door of the room, the man, were all still there, as had been five minutes earlier.
However, everything changed. Suddenly, I understood the meaning of the words that had been taught as a child: "but I say unto you, that resist not evil;" but who should you to attack it on your right cheek, turn to the other also. "Matthew 6: 39."
My son's five-year-old Bill began to wet the bed when his younger brother was born. First, it ignores the enuresis. Perhaps it could disappear. When not, explained to him why he was too big boy to wet the bed of Bill. He continued the wet. I reasoned with him, threatened, he shouted to him and assaulted him. He continued the wet. I felt angry and frustrated.
Neill frequently treated with problem behavior by rewarding its students. While bad behavior rewards make no sense, he had nothing else worked. Neill ideas worked with the man at the door. I decided to try with the problem of bedwetting.
Next time Bill wet the bed, gave him a penny. He looked at me in confusion. The next morning, his bed was dry. He never had wet what's new. Disappeared my anger and frustration.
A powerful tool! I began using ideas from Neill with neighbouring children.
One day, two children were calling other names in the back yard and threatening to fight. Rather than trying to stop them, I took on each side and asked if he wanted to fight.
"We do not want to fight", each one replied, "but is making me do." "He is calling me names."
"You want to fight?" I reiterated. "If so, go ahead and do it."
The guys mumbled to themselves and looked at the ground. Two minutes later, they were happy to play together.
What was doing contradicts everything that society had taught me, but brought the peace and harmony that desired. The society had taught me to punish people for "bad behaviour", but not to punish them. The society had taught me to resist 'wrong', but I did not resist. The society had taught me to fight for peace, but I not already fought.
On the other hand, separates the anger and agitation to my around and was allowed to pass without responding to it. Anger and agitation dissipated, and they worked my life and relationships. I continue to allow peaceful and harmonious, all my turned around in peace and harmony.
He had always understood Matthew 6: 39 as an unattainable moral injunction, requiring bondage of my own needs to the needs of others. It wasn't at all. It was extremely effective action I could take all by myself, which benefited both me and others. There was no self-denial in this action. There was only a statement of self-affirmation and life. Had never before felt so free, so strong, so powerful, so integrated, so completely in control.
Nothing out of me changed. The only thing that changed was my own perception, thoughts, actions and emotions.
What I have experienced has been called a "mystical experience".
As a child, he had taught to doubt, question and rely on my own judgement. My upbringing does not include education on mystical experiences, but knew that many religions include words on these experiences.
As Leo William James "Varieties of religious Experience" and texts of Christianity, Buddhism, Zen Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, Islam, Hinduism, Plato and philosophers Existentialist, I recognize my own experience in all the different words. It is as if different people describing the same beautiful flower garden. Some talked about roses, some spoke of spurs of Knight, some noticed patterns of color, some focus on the screens and routes. If he had not seen the garden of flowers and they were only listening to the words you would have thought that people were talking about different things. Seen the garden of flowers, I knew that they were all giving verbal structure and shape to the same underlying experience, as well as our minds give shape and meaning to fixed lines of optical illusions.
I could not stop playing with these ideas. My life was the same or was different? I knew or knew nothing? I was not sure.
They are the true religious words, or is simply a finger pointing to the moon to each set of words? There is a sense that the words are false idols? The meaning of each set of words depends on the human consciousness that listens to them and uses them? Do words have meaning only in the context of particular experiences and mentality?
"An outside observer nor the subject that suffers from the process can explain fully how particular experiences are capable of changing the energy centre so decisively, or why so often have to wait his time to do so." "We have a thought, or perform an Act, repeatedly, but on a day determined the true meaning of thought pearls through us for the first time..."-William James, "Varieties of religious experience"
Janet Smith Warfield is a sculptor of powerful word that knows how to bring peace to the troubled life. As a wife, mother, grandmother, lawyer, mediator, poet and author of creative essays, she has been honing his words and wisdom for 40 years. She is a graduate of Swarthmore College and Rutgers, Camden, law school cum laude.
For more information, see http://janetsmithwarfield.com
Do you have questions? Email jwarfiel@ix.netcom.com