Love is a natural feeling of course. We all know this quite well. We love are mother, our father, our friends. But what about the opposite sex? How are we to go about that? Here is the basic yet complete info need to know what Islam says on love.
1. Love before marriage.
The feeling of love for someone of the opposite sex can be provoked by many things. They can be quite sudden and very intense. Some can feel very strong feelings of attraction to an individual after the first glance and knows they want to live the rest of their lives with this person. Although people tend to complicate this process, it is quite simple and should be treated as such.
The mere feeling of love before marriage is not forbidden in Islam. It is acting upon those feelings that are forbidden. Islam encourages people to immediately consider marriage and take the necessary steps to establish compatibility by discussing views on the future, the upbringing of children, financial planning, family planning, values and such. It is also very important to make sure to involve the parents in this process. Specifically the father of the bride should be involved in the process of screening the groom and checking his true intentions. All this can be done efficiently in a very short time.
Contrary to popular and recent beliefs, dating is a very new concept. All passed cultures and religions viewed love and love relations before marriage as something frowned upon. The concept of "dating" consists of a try before you buy option, which has only newly been made available to today's love market. It dates back less than 50-60 years. A great number of people have been heart by this. Those people mostly consist of women and children.
2. Mixing of the sexes in Islam.
Islam strongly advises men and women to keep to themselves. This doesn't mean that men and women can never speak to one another. This simple sets clear and known boundaries to avoid falling into undesired situations. If one has no choice but to engage in conversation with the opposite sex, one should lower their gaze (avoid excessive eye contact), avoid touching and keep the conversation short and to the point. The contact mentioned above doesn't apply to married people of course. This is easier then one thinks. Men love hanging out with the guys and women love hanging out with other women. This is natural!
3. Love after marriage.
A marriage once completed makes permissible all the things that were impermissible before. This is when true and deep feelings should develop. Love after marriage also follows guidelines set by God. These guidelines if followed are meant to insure peace, tranquility and fairness to all parties of the marriage. It makes clear the responsibilities of both parties, in order to avoid conflict and cover all aspects of the relationship. Nothing has been left out. Everything has been addressed in a clear manner. Unfortunately, most people nowadays follow cultural guidelines that have been set by men which are imperfect and flawed and often gender biased. The following verse explains what love and marriage should be in Islam.
"And among His Signs is this that He created for you spouses from amongst yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Quran 30:21)
4. Falling out of love - Islam's view on divorce.
This topic is very simple. Divorce in Islam is very much disliked but not forbidden. One should make sure to choose a mate carefully in order to avoid this at all cost. If disputes occur within a marriage the two parties should try their best to reconcile. And if they cannot, their families should try their best to do so for them. Divorce should be a last resort approach to a difficult situation.
Contrary to popular belief, both men and women can ask for divorce, but the manners in which they go about differ. The differences have been set by God who is the All-Wise. Set rules have also been set about divorce in a very extensive matter. In the Quran, God sets these rules in a chapter called "Divorce or At-talaq).
In conclusion, marriage is not a matter to be taken lightly and nor should relationships between men and women. It is important to put much thought into who one wants to marry. And then, once married, treat each other with kindness and mercy.
Mimi Matthew is a long time convert to Islam and has found peace and tranquility in this. For more info on Islam visit her website at http://www.tawheedquest.com